I love this method because it takes emotion out of discipline which is much more effective. It makes the logical consequence the bad guy, not the parent. It many cases it has completely eliminated the bad behavior after the first episode.
Link to the article mentioned above: http://pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-111/350-111.html
Hitting, kicking, etc- if they do these things they have to hit a bucket, pillow, etc x number of times.
This worked great with Ezra. I made him kick a laundry basket 100 times. He was tired by the end. I told him that next time it was going to be 200 times. He hit Noah the next day. I had him hit a pillow 200 times. The hits had to be hard and he couldn't take a break. He hasn’t had a problem since.
Threatening- they have what they threatened done to them (within reason)
Ezra threatened to stick a marker up Livi’s nose if she didn’t listen to him. I had Livi stick the marker up his nose. This cured the threats pretty quickly.
Prayers- if the kids aren’t reverent during the prayer they have to kneel and fold their arms for x minutes after the prayer.
Response Rating- I have a chart for each child with numbers 1-5. When I ask them to do something, they often get a rating. If they respond well, they get a 5. They also get a 5 if they can nicely explain why they want to complete the requested task later. Iif they ignore, complain or argue, they get a one or two.
This has worked really well. They mark the chart themselves. They like to make sure they have more 5’s than 1’s. It has been good their responses good and bad to their attention. There are no rewards. The reward is in the 5 or deed itself.
Weekly Good Job Chart- I keep a piece of paper on the refrigerator. When the kids do something exceptionally good I write it down. They get very excited when I tell them I am going to write down what they have just done. During FHE we read the chart.
Church Reverence and Attentiveness- During the sacrament the kids have to sit quietly. If they don’t they have to sit for x minutes after the sacrament with their arms folded. After the sacrament they can draw pictures of what the speakers are talking about. This has been very effective in keeping them attentive and helping them remember what was said.
This worked great for Livi, the first time I had her open and shut it nicely 20 times, the next time she slammed the door I had her open and shut it nicely 100 times. She said, “That’s not fair last time it was only 20.” I gave her 10 more for complaining. She hasn’t slammed the door since.
Honesty Award- I have a cardboard balloon that we award to one of the kids each week. They get to tape it to their door to show everyone that they go the honesty award that week. There is always an honesty example or two on the good job chart. Mike decides who get the award. We write on the back of the balloon the honesty example for the week and they get to keep it on their door.
This one works, but with a bit of a struggle. Livi and Ezra don’t have a problem with this. Noah does. He is younger and much more defiant. When he throws something, I say “Since you threw that car, you have to pick it up as well as that truck.” If he doesn’t I say, “Then you need to pick up the car, truck, and a book.” He gets up to 5 or 6 things to pick up, but it eventually works.
Getting out of bed - lose blanket, pillow, etc
This works great! The first night the threat of losing their blankets was enough. After that they tested us. They have lost their blankets and pillows. We usually wait 5 or 10 minutes, then give them back.
Speaking Disrespectfully - lose talking privileges, write to say what they want to say, other logical consequences pertaining to the situation
This works well. If they speak disrespectfully about doing a chore they don’t want to do, they get an extra chore, if it continues, so does the list of chores. They usually only get to 2 or 3.
Spilling or Messes- clean them up (pretty obvious)
Ignoring Parents - shadowing, repeat things, write things, little extra chores to show listening for x command
This works great. I was calling for Livi and she was ignoring me. I needed her to put her laundry away. Since she ignored me she had to put her laundry away as well as fold and put away a basket of towels.
Following Commands- acknowledging what they are doing, give them time to finish (if appropriate) or a time limit, have them repeat the command back to us so they know we know they heard, and hold them to it
This works really well. When they are coloring and I want them to pick up their toys I say, “I know you are coloring and you have 3 minutes to finish up, then you need to pick up your toys.” If they need to right away I say, “I know you are coloring, but I need you to take a break and pick up your toys.” They are much more willing when I acknowledge what they are doing. Sometimes they act like they didn’t hear, so I say, “You need to pick up your toys. Tell me what I just asked you to do.” They repeat it back. Then of course holding them to it. They remember and feel like they are getting away with something if I don’t follow through. Even if the situation changes I try to acknowledge the change so they know they aren’t just getting away with something.
Screeching - put him in garage and tell him he can screech there
This works great! Noah likes to screech randomly and for no good reason. I told him if he wants to screech he can do it in the garage. He went out and screeched for about 30 seconds. I’ve only had to send him out one other time. -Interupting - can't say it for x minutes
Disrespecting Things - do jobs to earn money for them
Leaving Choke-able or Dangerous Things Out - lose item for a while
This works sometimes. What works great is rewarding the kids with a chocolate chip if they find anything chokeable or dangerous to around the house. We have been doing this for years and it works great.
Bad Dinner Manners - get more of least liked food served
Bad dinner manners at our house include getting out of seat, complaining about the food, making a mess (putting hands in water or food on table), playing instead of eating and whatever else is rude.
This is working very well. When they violate a rule, we put an extra carrot or whatever on their plates and say, “You got out of your seat, you get an extra carrot.” Livi needs reminders almost nightly. Ezra has caught on very quickly. Dinner manners have improved a lot.
Give Choices - often two options they don’t wantThis works great. If they complain about picking up a toy. I say, “You can either pick up that one toy or five toys.” They pick up the one. Works well for piano if Livi is complaining. I say, “You can play each song once or three times.” It ends all arguments.
Belongings in Time Out- box in the laundry room with specified items that were left out.
Livi used to come home from school and leave her coat, backpack, and shoes in the middle of the room. I started putting these items in a time-out box in the laundry room. To get them back she has to do a job for each one. If her backpack is in it and its time for school she has to do the job and be late for school.
Timer for Getting Ready- set a portable timer and if not ready in time there is a consequence
Getting Livi moving in the morning was a challenge. I started giving her a timer. In 15 minutes she has to shower, get dressed, and put her shoes on. If she doesn’t make it she gets cracked wheat for breakfast. This worked great from day 1. The timer was very motivating to her. She has never been late. Also, she has learned to prepare ahead of time. She gets her clothes and shoes laid out before getting in the shower. She likes to see how fast she can do it and tell me how much time she has left.
Piano Practice Sheet - motivation to be self-motivated
Livi practices willingly, but only when I ask her to. I made a chart for her. Every time she practices without being asked she gets a check-mark. If she memorizes a song, she gets five check-marks. So far it hasn’t worked very well, but I still like the idea.
Scheduled Piano Time- at 5:00 Livi has to practice piano. We set the timer for 20 minutes. We do this Mon-Thurs. She has to memorize one song of her choice each week and pass it off. Livi does very well with schedules and the timer.
Repeating- if the kids aren’t doing what they were asked to do, they have to repeat it out loud until the task is complete.
If they didn’t put their shoes away, they have to repeat “put my shoes away” out loud until their shoes are put away.
